they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
