I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize