somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
50% drunk capacity currently
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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