Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
