We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
