she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
