It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
