I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
