THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You know, be my cock's hype man.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
