Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
