How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
