If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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