That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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