The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
