But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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