i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
