I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He passed out mid-signature
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
