Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
