dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
