Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You took a bar mat shot.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
