Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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