This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
