Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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