I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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