Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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