my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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