Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
