Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
