Porn is love you can see.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
bring money and cleavage
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
