What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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