Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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