Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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