Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
