somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
