Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
