I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
