am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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