belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
