it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
false alarm, still single
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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