If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
