oh god the rape fog is back!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
