Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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