Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
