once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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