i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
