So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
