Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
