Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
