He kissed a someone with a penis
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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