So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
