she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
