So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
