Kiss
Puke
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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