That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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