So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
